"I believe we are all One, even if I can't feel it all yet. Now what?"
The consensus has gotten more and more comfortable with the idea and sentiment that "We are all One." You can buy a version of this on mugs, yoga mats and greeting cards. It gets thrown into the conversation like a closing argument- "I mean, we're all One in the end anyway."
If we basically believe it, where are we going awry?
Years of yogic practice have shown me that most of the time, I barely know what's happening. My awareness has developed and exposed me to the fact that I am used to functioning on ideas without integrating them into practice.
One of the common confusion people hit in the Oneness dialogue is that they believe that removing perceptions of separation means removing boundaries, becoming a completely permeable membrane to others. So then they try their hardest to love, but it ends up meaning they open all their doors, windows and gates, ignore their own instincts and burn out. Then they draw the conclusion that maybe Oneness isn't really true or possible, that we really are too separate to ever be of One Heart.
It's a tricky plot line that most often involves our family dynamics. Did anyone show us what a loving boundary looks and feels like? Did we ever experience someone saying "no" while also still feeling their full open heart toward us? The answer is overwhelmingly no for most of us. Mostly we experienced boundary as cut-off, shame and sometimes, a subtle feeling of hatred.
Or, did we experience boundary-lessness that was supposed be love, but actually created a feeling of stress and guilt as though every time we received from the other it felt like we were taking advantage. And maybe sometimes we were.
Seeing with the eyes of non-separation is a shift in the heart. Before we know what to do about every situation, which boundaries to hold and how to decide on the "right thing to do" in any situation or relationship, we first can open the parts of our heart that have curled up in resistance, anger and subtle hatred toward another. We choose to keep the heart open because it heals US.
I may not say yes to you. I may not give you everything you asked for. I may need to actively oppose your actions at some point in time.
But I won't throw you out of my heart.